


fifteen ways to choose your own fate

by Nyxierose



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 14:58:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4226229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxierose/pseuds/Nyxierose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Survive. Prove everyone wrong. You were not made to follow expectations.<br/>(Octavia character study.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	fifteen ways to choose your own fate

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "15 Ways to Stay Alive" by Daphne Gottlieb.

1\. Exist. Take up space. Breathe air.

2\. Want more. Try to take it. Get found, get thrown in a new box, remain unbroken.

3\. Be first. Be loud. Be anything other than the little sister. Ignore the reputation they try to give you. Ignore everything they ever say about you.

4\. Take risks. Get your first scar. Act like it’s nothing because it is, because even though you’re frightened and bleeding this is still the coolest thing that’s ever happened to you. Every moment of your life is the new best moment. Embrace that wonder.

5\. Kiss a boy. Don’t make it mean more than it needs to. Don’t feel anything when he dies - it has nothing to do with you, and there will be plenty of others like him. Don’t regret a damn thing.

6\. Draw your lines. Go for a walk, far enough to escape even your overprotective brother. Fall down a hill, screw up your other leg. Find different reasons for wanting to die.

7\. Get found again. Be fearless. Fight, yes, but accept this one’s kindness as he offers it. Let someone help you.

8\. Fight for him. Take the poisoned knife to your arm and cut deep. Lock eyes with him and distract yourself from the pain with the knowledge that you’ve saved multiple people through your sacrifice.

9\. Let him kiss you. Let him love you. Let him protect you. Be seen by someone who doesn’t know your story but thinks you’re even more beautiful when he learns. Reciprocate. Apologize too much. Let him leave you, but never doubt he’ll come back. Become half of a whole.

10\. Accept that endings are beginnings. Be scared you’ll never see your people again. Focus on the fact that you keep getting hurt and yet you are lucky enough to be loved by someone who keeps trying to sacrifice himself for you. Try not to hate him too much for it.

11\. Be brave. Try to get him back. Nearly succeed. Don’t quite make it. Try again. Fail. Earn respect anyways.

12\. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself feel everything as vividly as you can. Cry when no one sees you. Cry when everyone sees you. Cry when you find your love again and he’s nothing like he’s supposed to be. (Use a shock-stick because the creature in front of you isn’t your love.) Refuse to give up. Cry until everything in you is dry and painful, until there’s almost nothing left when a miracle happens and his eyes open again. Cup his face with your hand, rest your head on his chest and feel his steady heartbeat, tell him as many times as you can that you will always choose him. Find strength in your love.

13\. Accept the hand that’s offered to you. Learn to fight. Try to become part of something. Learn the hard way that you don’t belong there either no matter how much they want you to, no matter how much you want to. Stay when all of them leave. Be braver than them.

14\. Let everyone else see what you’ve become. Never look back. Do what needs to be done. Take a moment of innocence with a dying girl. Add her to the list of your dead. Move forward.

15\. Survive. Prove everyone wrong. You were not made to follow expectations.


End file.
